I hit the water feet first. I don’t recall hitting the bottom and it didn’t seem like I was underwater for very long. The life vest kept me from plunging too far down. I probably wouldn’t have made the jump without it. Underwater, I felt peace and I just relaxed my entire body until I reached the surface.
When I came up, I heard the muffled sounds of cheers. I was still alive, except for a bad case of vertigo that lasted about ten or fifteen minutes. My ears were filled with water. Other than that, I was fine and so thankful that I jumped.
Now, I don’t want you to think that I’m this careless and reckless person who goes around jumping off of cliffs and doing other crazy, death defying stunts. I do exercise a great deal of caution and am sensitive to God’s direction regarding what I should and shouldn’t do.
There is a difference between godly discernment and a spirit of fear. What I felt when I was standing on the edge of that rock above the Kern River was a spirit of fear. I had witnessed many people jump off of that same cliff before me, and they were all fine. Some of them wanted to do it again.
Even after having witnessed the evidence that it was okay to jump, I still cowered. There was no reason for me to be afraid. If I had begun to drown, the guides were excellent swimmers and trained to perform daring rescues.
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.
2 Timothy 1:7 (Amplified)
After the rafting trip, I began to assess the past year of my life. In comparison to the previous years, I had done some pretty interesting things that, at one time, I thought I’d never do. I used to be very timid and fearful. I was a coward. I have begun to come out of my shell more and more. Every time I do something adventurous, I feel bolder and more courageous, like I can overcome anything that comes my way. I have learned to look fear in the eyes and laugh in its face.